MeleVision: TV Junkie

1.    Budweiser  beer conditions the hair

2.     Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish

3.     Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes

4.    Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair

5.     Elmer’s Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads

6.    Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea

7.    Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water

8.    Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste

9.    Burn your tongue? Put sugar On it!

10.  Arthritis?   WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too

11.  Bee stings - meat tenderizer

12.  Chigger bite - Preparation H

13.  Puffy eyes - Preparation H

14.  Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)

15.  Stinky feet - Jell-O!

16.  Athletes feet - cornstarch

17.  Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub

18.  Kool aid To clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)

19.   Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon Plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won’t hurt them if they eat it!

20.  Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD’s!  Wipe off with a coffee filter paper

21.  Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray

22.  Pam Will also remove paint, and grease from your hands!  Keep a can in your garage for your hubby

23.  Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls

24.  When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with  corn starch and watch them slide on

25.  Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar !

26.  Body paint - Crisco Mixed with food coloring.  Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!

27.  Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid  in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak

28.  Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , Soak for 20 min. And let dry, will last for many years!

29.  A Slinky  will hold toast and CD’s!

30.  To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste

31.  Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt  and watch it absorb into the salt.

32.  To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.

33.  Remove labels off glassware etc. Rub with Peanut butter !

34.  Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper  fabric softener and the baked on food  will soften and become very easy to wipe off.  Soak overnight.  Also; you can use 2   Efferdent tablets, Soak overnight!

35.  Crayon on the wall - Colgate Toothpaste and brush it!

36.  Dirty grout - Listerine

37.  Stains on clothes - Colgate

38.  Grass stains -   Karo Syrup

39.  Grease Stains - Coca Cola, It will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight.  We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!

40.  Fleas in your carpet?  20 Mule Team Borax - Sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours.  Maybe this will work if you get them back again.

41.  To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin,  or just use 7- Up instead of water.

42.  When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you “squeeze” for freshness or softness?  Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week?  Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Each day has a different color twist tie.  They are:

Monday = Blue,

Tuesday = Green,

Thursday = Red
Friday = White

Saturday = Yellow.

(I guess they don’t bake bread on Wednesday).  So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)!  The colors go alphabetically by color Blue - Green - Red - White - Yellow  -  Monday through Saturday.  Very easy to remember.

 Time once again to review the winners of the Annual  “Stella Lawsuit Awards.”

The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s. That case inspired the Stella Lawsuit Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, stupid, but successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year’s winners…….

5th Place (tie):
-Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000, by a jury of her peers, after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owner of the store was understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s own son.

-19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when  he was trying to steal the car’s hubcaps.

-Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing, by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

In my opinion, this is so outrageous that it should have been 2nd place!

4th Place:
-Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bit on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than what Mr. Williams sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
-A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of  Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her tailbone. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
-Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:
-This year’s runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed an d overturned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other total morons around.

Um. Wow.